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-- Meeting People

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 *  Overview 
*   Events  *  Groups  * Networking 
*  Lectures  *  Dating  
  • Overview
As the state with the highest population density of all 50 states, it shouldn’t be difficult to meet new people in New Jersey, at least if we believe the statistics. Its density of population is also a product of its compact size, with some nine million people residing in the smallest area of all states except for Rhode Island and Delaware. Its area is also divided into 564 cities and towns, with an average population of just under 16,500 according to the last census, offering multiple opportunities for meeting people through participating in local government, organizations or community events.


Meeting others with similar backgrounds also is somewhat easier than in most other states as New Jersey’s racial, ethnic and religious diversity facilitates identifying those of similar heritage to come together. Nearly a third of the state’s population under the age of five speak a language other than English at home, and it has the second largest Jewish population (after New York state), the second largest Muslim population (after Michigan), and the largest population of Cubans outside Florida. It also counts very high numbers of Portuguese and Brazilian Americans, Hispanics, Arabs, Asians, Chinese and Italian Americans.


But despite these advantages, meeting new people in New Jersey, whether for social, business, or dating purposes, may take some effort, particularly for those not comfortable in reaching out or who come to the state without an existing network of contacts. Many people experience social anxiety—becoming nervous whenever they’re about to socialize with someone they don’t know—and overcoming this anxiety may force one to take steps on how to become better at socializing, like asking a trusted friend or relative (or even a for-pay professional) for advice. As counselors suggest, making new contacts usually is more successful when one is approachable and genuinely interested in seeking to know others by taking the initiative to connect in different settings.


Websites and digital tools have grown rapidly to facilitate outreach, but often the most productive way to seek new friends or associates is through old-fashioned face-to-face communication, asking those already in one’s circle for suggestions. For those primarily trying to make new friends, particularly for newcomers to the state, perhaps a good place to start is with those close by, such as by introducing yourself to neighbors and developing ties with fellow workers or others in office or industrial settings who may be helpful in making new contacts. Following up these contacts by accompanying neighbors and co-workers on visits to local bars or other hangouts also may lead to new connections. Beyond face-to-face outreach, social media, such as through Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter/X , is another way to reach out to existing contacts, possibly again following up an initial online contact with a personal meeting to connect with new people who share interests.

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Attending Events:


Attending events, meetings or other gatherings also offers opportunities to make new friends in informal interactions. Meetup.com, the largest of several global and national websites, is searchable by local listings and interests and posts diverse events for personal and professional networking to meet new people, learn new things, and find supportive communities or groups. The wide range of options posted on Meetup also allows attending events of different groups over time to test whether the sessions and attendees are a good fit with one’s personal goals. Alternatives to Meetup include Facebook-Events and Eventbrite.


Although New Jersey hosts numerous major events, festivals, and gatherings throughout the year such as food fairs, music concerts, and more, it may be more productive for those just looking for new friends to focus on smaller community and neighborhood gatherings, such as those held to discuss local politics or issues related to education or housing, with more comfortable settings for initiating conversations. Some smaller event listings may be found in local newspapers, online event platforms, or community or library bulletin boards.


More targeted New Jersey-focused sites complementing event postings on large sites like Meetup include:
Joining Groups:


Perhaps after attending a related event or meeting to see the type of people who attend, another option to make new friends is to join groups or clubs to connect with those with similar interests in topics like hiking, books, cooking, art, politics, photography, or any other hobby or interest. Again, the global websites are helpful starting places: Meetup.com has a dedicated section listing over 25 New Jersey groups organized on a wide rage of topics and Facebook’s groups include one for “New Jersey” with over 17,000 members. Only a few examples include: Several groups or organizations also offer opportunities to engage in volunteer work, thus meeting people who share personal values in giving back to the community, frequently through local churches and charities, non-profit organizations, or community centers. Web sites for identifying volunteer opportunities posted by VolunteerMatch.org; Jersey Cares; and the New Jersey Department of State are useful resources, along with local libraries whose staff also may be helpful in suggesting where and how to volunteer for programs like food drives and cleanup projects.

Some leading groups in the state which rely on volunteer help include:
  • Community FoodBank of New Jersey (largest NJ anti-hunger and anti-poverty nonprofit, provides food help, job training in 15 of 21 counties, other food pantries and anti-hunger groups listed in New Jersey Anti-Hunger Coalition);
  • Catholic Charities (five affiliated Catholic charities serving every county providing poverty, food, housing, health assistance to all regardless of faith or background);
  • Meals-on-Wheels America (NJ affiliate of national organization providing 2.8 million US seniors with meals, social support provided by volunteers);
  • Salvation Army New Jersey Division (21 NJ locations providing support for shelter, food, disaster relief, youth education and activities);
  • American Red Cross-New Jersey Region (volunteers help victims of fires, floods, storms, and other disasters, staff blood drives; and provide lifesaving training in CPR and water safety);
  • Literacy New Jersey (volunteer tutors help adults with reading, writing, speaking English);
  • HomeFront (combats homelessness in central NJ by helping families become self-sufficient and increase availability of affordable housing);
  • Recording for the Blind and the Dyslexic-New Jersey Unit (part of national nonprofit which recruits volunteers to read and record specialized books in disciplines including physical and social sciences, law, mathematics, medicine, and languages for students in kindergarten through graduate school who cannot read print publications).

[See also
-Doing Good]

PictureImage: rawpixel.com
Business & Job Networking:


Meeting new people also is frequently a goal of those trying to expand an existing professional network, exchange ideas, and discover new jobs or business ventures. Many contacts are often made through attending a diverse range of conferences, trade shows and meetings and joining as a member of relevant groups. Again, local level meetings and organizations may be most helpful for budding entrepreneurs, small businesses and job-seekers; New Jersey has over 150 regional, county and local chambers of commerce, most of which hold regular monthly meetings, as well as sponsor occasional job fairs and trade shows. Larger statewide business groups include the New Jersey Chamber of Commerce (with many local chambers as affiliates) and the New Jersey Business & Industry Association (formerly the New Jersey Manufacturers Association). Both the state Chamber and the NJBIA primarily focus on monitoring impacts of state government legislation and regulations on business, but also schedule frequent meetings of local committees or affiliated groups. In addition to the state Chamber and the NJBIA, there are several industry, professional or trade groups in such areas as construction, retailing, marketing, healthcare, law and more which sponsor events and meetings. Trade shows and job fairs held by these groups also are useful ways to meet many people in a few hours who are staffing booths and exhibits or looking for products or services.

[See also
- Finding a Job]
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Attending Lectures, Taking Classes:


Attending lectures, taking classes, or enrolling in workshops—whether to learn a new skill or pursue a personal interest or hobby—also can bring like-minded individuals together. Some of the many available options are sponsored in conjunction with local libraries, community centers or other nonprofit groups, while others are offered by for-profit schools.


Nonprofit adult schools include:Still more lectures and classes are also provided by many subject-focused organizations such as the Montclair Culinary Academy (cooking classes for adults and children from basics to advanced skills with sample communal meals); Unique Photo - Photography & Modeling Workshops & Seminars (classes in photography and modeling, networking with other creatives); and Around the Corner Art Center (based in Freehold, offers adult painting classes and open studio drawing).


On a somewhat more formal level, several universities and colleges allow adults to audit designated courses by attending without receiving academic credit or participating in exams or assignments, including both Princeton University (Community Auditing Program enables high school graduates living in New Jersey to audit University classes as a “silent student” on a non-credit basis, usually for $200 per course, with an average of 125-150 classes available for auditing each semester) and Rutgers University (auditing options include a free Senior Citizen Audit Program to permit retired New Jersey residents age 62 or older to audit courses on a space-available, non-credit basis). Some other New Jersey schools that offer auditing options for adults—with varying availability, costs and requirements—are Montclair State University, Rowan University, Ramapo College, Seton Hall University, and The College of New Jersey.


More basic education is provided by ten adult high schools located in various counties. These schools have been approved by the state government for those seeking to learn or improve English language skills or to earn a state-endorsed high school diploma by completing courses meeting the state’s designated learning standards.
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Dating:


With just over one in four of its adult population categorized by the US Census Bureau as “single” (never married, divorced, or widowed), New Jersey ranks as the fifth highest state in its percentage of singles. Understandably, the most single cities in New Jersey are also some of the largest and youngest, such as Jersey City, Hoboken, Newark and Camden. The Hudson waterfront cities have particularly become known for their vibrant singles communities gathering at local bars and restaurants, with many singles likely drawn to locate in New Jersey to find more affordable housing and other amenities than across the Hudson. Hudson County also has the youngest median age at 36.1 years old of the state’s 21 counties, compared to 40.4 years statewide and 39 years for the nation, according to census data for 2022.


In a survey of the best New Jersey cities for singles posted by the website HomeSnacks.com, the Hudson waterfront municipalities of Edgewater, Hoboken, Palisades Park and West New York took the top four places; other cities and towns with high numbers of singles include Asbury Park, Red Bank, Hackensack and Trenton. Obviously, college towns like Princeton and New Brunswick also boast high numbers of singles, not only among their student bodies but also from the presence of younger faculty, staff and others who are attracted to residing in towns with lively academic, cultural and social communities. During warmer months, the Jersey Shore also continues to play its historic role (at times profiled, for better or worse, to global television audiences on shows such as “Jersey Shore” featuring hard-partying singles) as a site for relationships ranging from casual hook-ups to more long-term coupling. In contrast, suburban communities tend to have lower proportions of singles as partners marry and seek out more space, schools and amenities to raise families.


  • Fix-ups:
Despite the growth of online dating tools, finding a romantic match still often relies on fix-ups suggested by friends, family or work associates. Relationship counselors advise that fix-ups, which obviously often don’t succeed, may be more likely to result in a compatible match when friends or contacts have a good understanding of one’s interests and values, either due to their existing knowledge or by new communication relating to preferences in looking for a potential partner. If the proposed fix-up results in arranging a date, it’s suggested that the first meeting may be safer as a casual and low-pressure meetup, such as coffee, brunch, or a walk in a local park which allow for easy conversation and less pressure than a longer get-together such as a formal dinner . Regardless of how the date goes, expressing gratitude to whomever set up the date is an important gesture to strengthen that relationship and thank the contact for the opportunity to meet someone new and expand your social circle.


  • Matchmakers:


For those frustrated with the lack of success or protracted time needed using other dating options, another old-fashioned path is to retain a professional matchmaker. Professional matchmakers offer personalized services, leveraging their expertise and networks to connect people with similar values, interests, and relationship goals. Matchmakers contend that—despise having to pay fees—their clients gain value from the matchmaker’s experience and extensive networks of eligible singles, including those who might not be active on dating apps or in traditional social circles. Matchmakers also generally provide feedback after each date, helping to improve dating skills of clients. Matchmaking services also protect a client’s privacy, offering a discreet way to meet potential partners. By outsourcing the search and screening process, matchmakers argue that time and energy is saved that would otherwise be spent on failed fix-ups, visits to singles bars and sifting through profiles on online dating apps and websites. For those with limited time—like busy executives. entrepreneurs or single mothers—hiring a matchmaker may make sense. The Global Love Institute (founded 2003 under former name The Matchmaking Institute in New York City) offers online courses and workshops, as well as providing recognition as a Certified MatchmakerTM to those who complete its programs or submit information on their prior experience.


Here are some matchmakers active in New Jersey:


  • New Jersey Matchmaking: (matchmaking and date coaching service for busy professionals, founder Michelle Frankel a certified matchmaker and dating coach, previously established NYCity Matchmaking, has appeared in media including major television network news shows);
  • Master Matchmakers: (nationwide matchmaking service founded in Philadelphia and now headquartered in Florida with matchmakers who work with clients in New Jersey, still family-owned and operated by founder JoAnn Ward and her son, CEO Steve Ward, both appeared and produced VH1 TV show Tough Love for six seasons, also best-selling authors of best-selling book Crash Course in Love)
  • Julianne Cantarella: (licensed Social Worker and Certified Life Coach with 20 years of matchmaking and dating coaching services in New Jersey, appears as relationship expert on TV and radio programs);
  • The Matchmaking Company: claims to have one of largest networks of Christian singles in U.S., also employing more Master Certified Matchmakers than any other company
  • Simantov International (world’s leading professional Jewish matchmaking service, based in United Kingdom with operations in several countries including US, all coaches and matchmakers hold Master’s Degrees, MBAs or PhDs)                                                                               
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  • Singles bars:
Those who lack personal fix-ups or reject paying for dating help may be forced to take steps to reach out on their own, with singles bars remaining as a popular meeting place for date-seekers. But again the decision to go to a bar requires an effort that may be uncomfortable for some reluctant to take the initiative to start chats with strangers, which obviously can result in damaged egos from serial rebuffs. Suggestions by dating counselors to make a positive first impression at a singles bar include feeling confident in your appearance by dressing appropriately for the type of bar and people it attracts; being open and approachable through smiling and making eye contact with others; avoiding frequent looks at a phone or otherwise appearing disinterested; initiating conversations with friendly small talk on simple, non-invasive topics such as by asking about drink choices or commenting on the music playing; and showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying through comments and follow-up questions.


Some bars which attract numbers of singles include
  • The barCode (Elizabeth: restaurant and nightclub featuring live performances, talent shows, DJs, music artists, hosts variety of themes and parties each night);
  • Ale ‘N ‘Wich Pub (New Brunswick: lively bar without food primarily catering to Rutgers community, features table games, happy hours);
  • QXT’s (Newark: New Jersey’s longest running alternative dance club operating for over 30 years, features alternative music including goth, punk and rock with spacious main dance floor and two additional smaller rooms each with a different musical theme);
  • Madd Hatter (Hoboken: age 20s-30s crowd, transforms from sports bar with 75+ big-screen TVs and over 80 draft and bottled beers to late-night dance club with DJs);
  • The Madison Bar & Grill (Hoboken: upscale bar and Parisian-styled bistro interior with exposed brick walls, sidewalk tables, diverse drink menu);
  • Porta (Jersey City, Montclair, Asbury Park: live music at all three locations, known for pizza);
  • The Stone Pony (Asbury Park: rock bar famed as site of early performances by Bruce Springsteen, Bon Giovi, Southside Johnny, Stevie van Zandt, cramped interior but large outdoor stage hosts summer concerts);
  • Bar Anticipation (Belmar: known locally as “Bar A,” offers both indoor and outdoor spaces in summer months, often hosts special themed events, games and live music);
  • D’Jais (Belmar: founded 1959, bills itself as “The original Jersey Shore Dance Club”, and called a “Jersey shore institution for young people”, regular spot for Bruce Springsteen during 1970s);
  • The Osprey Night Club (Manasquan: founded 1946, in 1950’s home to the “World’s Longest Bar,” summer weekend crowds up to 1,100 capacity served by 22 bartenders at 13 bars, separate rooms for live bands and DJs);
  • Jenks Night Club (Point Pleasant Beach: beachfront dining, drinking and dancing with live bands and concerts);
  • Chickie’s and Pete’s (Marlton: founded in Philadelphia, now 19 locations in PA, NJ, Las Vegas, voted ESPN’s #1 Sports Bar on East Coast, 64 large-screen TVs including two cinema-sized TVs, two bars, 40+ beers on tap);
  • Vera Bar, Grill, Nightclub (Cherry Hill: sports bar downstairs with TVs, night club with DJs and live bands);
  • Horseshoe Tavern (Morristown: promotes itself, without attribution, as “The place where everybody knows your name”, large bar known for live music, themed events around sports, trivia nights);
  • Firewaters Saloon (Atlantic City: located in Tropicana Casino on boardwalk, Old West themed interior and live music, extensive beer selection);
  • The Boiler Room (Cape May: basement bar and restaurant in well-known Congress Hotel, exposed brick walls, lounge couches, Thursday night karaoke, live music and dancing)

  • Singles Groups:


For those seeking alternatives or complements to singles bars, there are a range of less pressured ways to look for new connections through groups targeting singles in varying ways such as through shared hobbies and interests or mixers, happy hours, and dances. A few groups with broader membership also occasionally sponsor single-focused events or outings; The Sierra Club’s New Jersey chapter, for example, has a special section for singles interested in meeting others who are environmentally-minded, such as through hiking or clean-up projects. Other groups are more specifically seeking participation by singles on a regional or local level. The Morristown Singles Group, for example, hosts a variety of mixers, talks and other events for its over 800 members mostly ranging from the late 30s into their 50s. Others try to attract singles with shared interests like the NJ Coed Sports social sports club, which has over 7,000 members in Northern New Jersey for indoor and outdoor soccer, softball, volleyball, flag football and kickball, and Hoboken Bar & Books, a co-ed social book club with 1,500 members that meets monthly at a Hoboken pub to discuss a book and then hang out over drinks.


So-called “speed-dating” also has become popular as a means to short-cut traditional protracted dating searches by holding sessions in which participants have a specific length of minutes (usually around five to ten) chatting individually with other attendees in a sort of round-robin format. Another variation of dating meetups is convening online or in-person games and quizzes, where singles first play each other to spark informal conversations during the game which may lead to more personal exchanges on other topics. Some of several options for both in-person and online meetups include:

  • NJ First Dates, hosts speed dating events, both in-person and online, for people of all age groups in different counties, with typical sessions allowing singles to chat briefly with around ten potential love interests, with participants advised the next day of any matches of the people who have each indicated interest in follow-up meetings;
  • Pre-Dating Speed Dating, world’s largest speed dating service for single professionals, holds monthly events in over 70 cities, including sites in New Jersey;
  • TheSinglesGroup.com, claims to be largest full-service singles company in New Jersey, includes speed dating, concert mingles, game and trivia nights, matchmaking;
  • Lock And Key Events, active in over 50 cities in US and Canada, holds monthly events in several New Jersey locations where singles meet each other as they search for matching keys to locks, with prizes awarded to those making the most matches.
  • Dating Websites:
There are a wide selection of online dating sites, with even the largest global sites allowing searches to be narrowed down geographically, typically by zip code or town. Some sites allow users on their own to search photos or profiles to seek a response; others also may use questionnaires with responses linked to scientific algorithms to suggest compatible matches; and still others have human matchmakers to suggest dates.


According to a Pew Research Center survey conducted in July 2022, just over half of adults under 30 have used a dating site or app at some point, but online usage falls sharply among older singles, with only 13% of those 65 and older saying they have used online dating platforms. Tinder was ranked in the survey as the most popular site, with some 46% of online dating users say they had used it at some point, followed by about three-in-ten who had used Match (31%) or Bumble (28%).


Popular sites include:
  • Tinder (most popular global online dating platform available in 190+ countries and 40+ languages, nearly half of all online users report using Tinder at some point, introduced simplified dating process by allowing users to swipe right to like or left to pass on potential matches);
  • Match (first online dating service, launched in 1995, allows users to create profiles and search for potential partners based on criteria like age, location, and interests, now services 24 countries and hosts sites in 15 different languages);
  • Bumble (over 20 million members, emphasis on women initiating messaging, in addition to dating, also provides categories for making friends, advancing career);
  • OkCupid (uses detailed questionnaire to match users based on their preferences and values,first major dating site with an app so daters can connect with matches no matter where they are);
  • Hinge (focuses on building meaningful connections by encouraging users to provide detailed information about themselves and engage in conversation);
  • Dating.com (launched 1993, online in over 30 countries, members pay for specific services they use such as e-letters, chats, videochats);
  • eharmony (algorithm uses 32 categories to match couples based on compatibility);
  • Grindr (world’s largest social networking app for LGBTQ+ individuals).


More targeted sites include Elite Singles (educated professional singles); OurTime (singles age 50+); SilverSingles (singles age 50+, personality test with over 100 questions); Jdate (Jewish singles); ChristianMingle (Christian singles); BlackPeopleMeet (Black singles); and La-date (Latino singles).